In a recent conversation with a friend of mine, she expressed some serious frustration with her child's lack of progress, in spite of all the therapies they were utilizing. She was so tired of all things autism and how it had devoured every part of her life. Ready to dismiss her team and just learn to live with her child's severe autism, she called a team meeting. Instead of being judgemental and clearing out of her home in a huff, the team did a wonderful thing: they kindly told her that if she was "done" for a while, they would carry her, and be her strength. That is powerful. Shortly after that meeting, her child began to show some noticeable progress. Needless to say, she is tremendously grateful that her team understood what she was going through and refused to walk away from her and her family.
Support is crucial to our survival and well-being. It keeps us going when we don't have one more thing left within ourselves to give. Who hasn't heard stories from their friends about feeling unable to get out of bed, or being unable to stop crying, or feeling angry and hopeless about their child's autism and the seemingly insurmountable obstacles they face? If you have never experienced this, count your lucky stars. I have certainly been there! It is a dark and lonely place to be. The one thing that has pulled me out of these wicked-mean spots is my support network--family, friends, and sometimes a random stranger that can relate to my experience. It is not our "weakness" that calls out for support, it is our "humanness," and certainly nothing to be ashamed about. As parents of special needs children, I think we are especially prone to doing it all, feeling that we have to be super-strong and super-human. We often feel that we cannot ask for help. In fact, I think for many of us, the thought that we could even seek support never crosses our mind. I would not hesitate to ask for help if my car broke down. If I was lost, I would stop and ask for directions (although I don't think this would occur to my darling husband...). Newsflash: if you are close to an "autism" breakdown, or if you find yourself lost on this often arduous journey, it is okay to reach out for support. While your peers in the autism community may not be as efficient as "Onstar," we are here for you! Reach out to us and those around you, and we will be your strength and carry you for a while. When you are feeling stronger, you can help us carry someone else for a while--pay it forward.
